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May 22, 2008 01:22PM
Hell o, this goes out to the two people who will probably read this blog...first off my sister just said something funny we have this 13 secrets to Japanese speaking success or something and they have this guide to pulling a native totty so your language can improve (what a slimy way of basically saying 'how to fuck some local totty') anyway back to the point and they point out parts of the body you'll need to compliment but unfortunately bcos we like girly boys we'd have to apply the points of how to pull a woman! well except the full breasts bit but then again someone everyone knows of on this site has really cute man boobies on some shots...
Right so on with the slaughter, my week at work: I seem to always be at work, even when I'm at home I'm at work because I'm fretting about what a little turd Malik fuckaphant is gonna be! I'm fed up of being given the 'shitdog' jobs to do, he's like 'you don't have anything better to do with your time on Earth go open the door for me so I can slime through like the king shit worm I am' ok that wasn't a serious example but my point is that whilst I feel down about being in a no-brainer job with absolutely no future promotions to look forward to while I work there the last thing I need is for him to keep hammering home just what a shitty job it is and just what a dickhead I must be for working there still. So I came a few steps closer to quitting again today but obviously I haven't so I'll just continue to whine for a while.
More misery: I have had a mini fall out with someone on this site for really inexplicable reasons, we were cool with each other n then I didn't reply to one of their PM's not intentionally being a cunt I want you to understand and then after that they've had a pickle and we were talking then we argued and it all got outta hand and then I sent them my pic and then they ignored it so it's like 'cheers for that' I'm not worlds most fucking confident when it comes to my looks so that was shitty. Anyway I don't give 100% of a fuck because it's their loss.
Moving on: totty. Me and my sister have rekindled our relationship with Japanese and definately Japanese men, we went off it for a while because our new Japanese language tutor scared us with just how intense a language Japanese really is!! Not just that but this shit cake who attends the same lesson as us 'Rick the prick' for true English eloquence was there with his slimy balding head and a sense of humour he dug up from the cemetery for 'bastards who died miserable' making out to our teacher that we (well ok he meant he) are/(is) all so awesome we could move there tomorrow so she sped up the course and it just got really bad after that! So anyway back to the afore mentioned point we have been watching the ever-so-gorgeous Masanobu Ando hmmmm creamalicious (see my default picture for knicker wetting special effects). He's not strictly out n out beautiful and his face is rather animated but ther's something so hot and mesmerising about him escpecially when he's Kiriyama! *squeal*
Ryuhei Matsuda is another bit of totty, he looks fairly gay but it's his effeminate beauty that makes him, that and the evil as fuck 'I'm gonna rip your heart out your ass n eat it' intent in his eyes and the wicked sneer that plays on his lips! Things that make u go 'SIIIIIIIIIIIM' (pronounced sing - it's Portuguese for yes). So yeah we've been really focusing on Japanese as you can tell!
End credits: my boss is an arsehead and I know so many other people suffer with the same problem so I guess I can deal.
- people who upset me, please don't be jerks I make an awesome pal and you'll be sorry if I'm not yours.
- Japanese totty - oh pleassssssse snub those beautiful, petite, golden skinned, silken haired, eloquent, other worldy beings that are Japanese girls and have this minging, lanky sometimes frumpy, pasty skinned, drab haired, shit rough, outer worldy (and we're talking Zorgian) westerner - did I mention I make an even better girlfriend than Venus?!!?!?
haha! Just kidding
OK thanks for reading and good luck in your life
xxxx
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May 05, 2008 09:07AM
Hell o, this is my post about the new Halloween movie - I detest it and I can't die happily until I've said this.
First off the original Michael Myers is terrifying! He's got amazing presence and he's every inch the unrepenting psycho, he's gotta be one of the best fictional serial killers ever! He's got awesome wild black hair which is pure animalistic sexiness and under those overalls I imagine he has the body of Matt Heafy during ascendency (I think he looks skinnier now or he did when we met him and I had a squiz during our photo hehe)...
so n e way yeah so the new Michael Myers;
as a kid he is just a typical grungy, pig faced, angsty youth who could star in an early Silverchair video and I'm so bored of that typical 'fucked up family' image that he's got it's like they couldn't think of a way to justify his anger so they'll give him a really bad family who are justifiably killed because they fuck each other and the mom's a stripper and yaaaawn...sorry I fell asleep!
(sorry I have to cut in - my sister n berny have just bought me a Big Mac - hell yeah!!!!!!!)
so we see Michael in jail slowly declining and more shots of Sheri Moon who was only cast because Robert Zombie can't fart without her pole dancing about it!!!
and then we come onto Dr Loomis - once again the original man was cool, he was eerie and poetical about Michael Myers which I thought was a real beautifying the beast situation (yeah that's a good way to put it) but the new one was just tryna outdo him!! He was there with all his arty farty Shakesperean waffle, just laying it on way too thick and seen as how the film was actually shallow and lame it really grated! Not just that but when he meets Myers and he's about to kill Laurie why would he stop to talk to Myers about whether or not he's still on his macrobiotic diet?!?! You'd shoot him in the fucking eye! Nooo not LOOMIS he reasons with him then gets his own eyes put through his arse!!!! I'm really glad he died.
Now we talk about grown up Michael - why has he grown up to look like the love child of Tripple H the wrestler and Corey (I mean cos he looks like a metaller)?!!? They couldn't rely on his evil to give him stature oh no he had to be physically big n fuck off well I don't buy it and I especially don't buy Tripple H in masks the kids make at my local art gallery on saturday afternoon! We saw too much of Michael Myers lumbering around and making home contacts like remembering where he left his favourite pan set! I don't wana know where my serial killer is or when he goes to the toilet - I want suspense and fucking suprise when he pops up n stabs the annoying shitpipes (his victims) in the shitpipe!!
So anyway the last rant about this film is the teenage girls - I hate whiny teenagers who put on that gravely sound a bit like a bubbling fart in their throats everytime they wanna sound sexy. Also I thought Laurie was supposed to be different to her mates? Glasses don't make you look intelligent and she could see pretty fucking well when she wasn't wearing em don't ya think?
Anyway I don't wana make it too long so please understand that this movie is only ok if you like lame brain, shallow, shit - good luck to ya.
sayonara
*squiz*
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April 28, 2008 04:26PM
hell o, this is my first blog and I have no idea what to begin with. I've really been racking my brain to try think of something witty or something educational or something just fucking interesting but the fact is..er it's too hard!!
O.K. here goes about my job n my boss - key words
- 'waaay' pronounce it in a mock french accent
- my boss has several titles - Malik (his actual name), Mein Fuhrer (occupation title), fuckhead (the name his mother shouold have pronounced him and finally Malik Bouchar International Fuckstar!
Right well, I work in a sandwich bar but it's dressed up title is a Patisserie, actually it's 'correct title' is a decrepit, 'the decor is farting about in the 70's', ant infested, rusting arsehole that happens to sell sandwiches and drinks and cakes and the only redeeming feature which aint for sale is...me. It's split into two departments next door is outside catering...well actually it's a giant cesspit with 4 broken fridges, a freezer so called it would freeze a polar bears knackers off and a giant walk in oven that the spanish inquisition will be kicking themselves for not having inventing it first! Then there's my bit which is the sandwich shop part but I've already explained about it so...
My boss is a french/algerian twat who looks like a worried, hairy egg! infact everytime I look at him I realise just how ugly he really is. He is a chauvinistic, overbearing, hypocritical, malicious napoleon! infact everytime I look at him I realise he looks like napoleon! He treats all us women like retarded shitslingers and all the men like pals he saved in Nam BUT he has mini 'my cocks bigger than yours' competitions with them!! At work I am not allowed to use intitiative and when I do he whines like a mule that I shouldn't have done it that 'waaay' and then he'll walk around the room, come back n say 'hey you should do it this waaay' and believe it or not IT WAS THE WAY I WAS FIRST FUCKING DOING IT!!! for example if I have a tub of tuna and it has a drool sized amount in it and I have a tuna sweetcorn and it is full to bursting so I lump the 2 together n they become tuna sweetcorn TA-DAAAAAA! we have tuna sweetcorn but because he didn't think of it first I'm disobeying mein Fuhrer.
He has had the business since like 1873 and it's still got the same floor! except now half is covered in new tiles which look like they r from the set of a gay Greek porn movie and then there are some tiles which he's ripped up but not bothered to replace yet so frequently we're tripping all over the fucking place and doing windmill arms to prevent the fall! we have ants as an additional sandwich filling so you get to decide just how crusty you want your bread lol! our toilet doesn't have a seat so it's a good thing we've all got fat arses or else we'd be swimming! plus more often than not we wont even have the sandwich fillings you want so we tell people to think of ten things they feel like and we'll see if we can offer one! p.s. please eat a sandwich from my shop - I need a wage!
My co-workers: Maureen, Elsie and occassionally Janet when her thumb isn't in a spling and shoved up her anoos!
Maureen is wild, she's got really wide almost Salem's Lot vampire eyes that gleam with true evil at you and she common as pig swill and to top it all off she wears fucking pigtails!! she's 53 put acts 23 ...that has to be better than the Katie Melua song about feeling 22 acting 17 WHOA!! OMG what a fucking difference - u twat! (I hate her) I dont mean I hate Maureen I LOVE MAUREEN I mean i hate katie fucking melua!!!
Elsie Mortem (I think) she's about 4foot 3 and so crippled with arthritis she looks more rigor mortis! My sister (nightmarejunir) thought she was 88 or born in 88BC at least but she's only 66 ahahahaha she's a dumbdick!! Anyway back to Elsie (by the way I do loove my work mates)
anyway back to elsie she's got yellowy hamster teeth and her breath is killer but she's funny as!!! she's always huffing about being treat like the dogs body and forced to work harder at Fuhrer's Patisserie but she's too old to be! so she spends much of her working life slaving over tea cakes infact she is a teacake demon, she'll like butter 3587328 until all you can do is serve teacakes as an actual filling and then sigh n say I suppose you'll want me to do some more teacakes then! and we're like WTF?!?!?but anyway more on her later so Janet, she puffs she pants and that's just when she's going at Malik on the worktop EWWWW that was a joke! yeah so she's been off for the past 18 months with a bad thumb but now her blood pressure's up cos Malik is paying her £44 a week sick pay!!! ahahaha he's a jerk. but even when she did work alls she could do was snipe at how she was wo'ked like a donkey n we all tossed it off - fucking charming!!!
Well that's all on work until I update this blog again
Thank you so much to anyone who read this I know it's long n painful but hey I have to do it everyday - read something I put that is!
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